Liminal Thoughts

Yesterday I announced to my governing board that I would be retiring on May 25.  For most people that means Memorial Day.  For me it means that my last worship with this congregation will be on Pentecost, which is, quite honestly, my absolute favorite holiday in the entire ecclesiastical calendar.

But this is scary, standing on the threshold of a new way of living.  I'm too young for Medicare or Social Security, so I will have to work for some time to pay for health insurance.  But my Beloved is not getting any younger and we have things we need to do together while we still have energy and health.  I've decided to see if I can actually do a job that I don't take home with me, wake up thinking about in the middle of the night.  That would be nice.  I could work part time and make enough to keep myself in insurance.  That's comforting.

We're going to have to sell the house and I'm already working on downsizing.  I've been watching those shows about tiny houses and I would love to live that way, but I know that I am a collector and a clutterer and there's no way on earth that I would ever be able to manage without creating a death trap or driving myself insane.  Besides as much as I love the Beloved, I am a true introvert and need time to be ALONE.  Even when we've talked about exploring the country in an RV, I've told him it has to have a separate bedroom where I can be by myself when I need to be. 

It started as we were putting away Christmas stuff -- deciding what we would keep and what will go out to a garage sale.  I narrowed down collections to one or two items to which I have serious emotional attachments.  We have never had a "designer" Christmas tree, and most of our ornaments are one of a kind, or something we bought on vacation (which we've kind of done as a small souvenir over the last couple of years -- it's a nice reminder in the dark and cold and harried days of warmer, sunnier, more relaxed times). We put aside some things for the kids if they want them, but got rid of all the garland and wreaths and bows, etc. 

It was 31 years ago today that my Beloved and I agreed to journey through this life together and it's kind of reassuring to begin this next new phase of our life on the same date.  After all, the first phase has gone pretty well.

Anyway, I'm thinking I'll be sharing this experience with you if you're interested -- the process of changing life in a very intentional way with a time limit looming.  Tomorrow, we're talking books.