Sacrificial Acts

Still thinking about Lenten discipline.

I am, at heart, a timid person.  I hate confrontations.  I always try to be the peacemaker, not for the sake of peace itself, but because I am afraid of conflict.  I just say this because I want to be honest about where this reflection begins.

As I thought about how I would focus my Lenten discipline in the light of the election process going on right now I kept thinking about how much of our culture is driven by fear.  I repeat here my basic conviction that the core of the gospel message is "Don't be afraid" and I was thinking about a Lenten discipline that would help me "fast" from fear.  How can I recognize when I am reacting to what is happening in my life out of fear rather than faith?  How can I "follow that fear" to its root, to recognize and name what I am afraid of, and then invite the love of God to displace that fear in my life?

So this is what I'm committing myself to do during this Lent.  I'm going to wear an elastic band on my wrist, and I'm going to do some periodic "check-ins" on my emotional state.  Any time I identify the signs of fear in my body I'm going to give the band a little "snap" on my wrist to snap myself out of that state and then I will ask God to replace that fear with love.

I'm also going to address situations that initiate fear/anger directly.  I will challenge people who perpetuate a fear-based response to life in an assertive, non-agressive way.  I will do this at least once a week.   I don't believe I will have to "manufacture"  occasions for this action -- I think I spend a lot of emotional energy in vauge, unacknowedged fear, a lot of it "caught" from others.  Normally I would just swallow it and walk away.  I'm not sure that's a loving thing to do.  In theory, at least, it would be more loving to invite that person to recognize their own fear and to leave it behind. 

I don't know if this is realistic, but I'm going to give it a try.  I'll let you know how it goes.